Providence Soda Club

Review: Flathead Lake Gourmet Huckleberry Soda

So…what is huckleberry? When I first think of the word Huckleberry Finn comes to mind, followed by Huckleberry Hound. However, the huckleberry is of course a real berry, specifically the state fruit of Idaho. I’ve never eaten a huckleberry on its own, but I hear they’re pretty similar to blueberries in look, yet have some distinct differences in taste. So how will this soda compare?

For some initial background on this company, Flathead Lake doesn’t actually have their own website, yet  is distributed through North American Beverages, founded in 1993. This specific soda is based in Montana, with this bottle prominently featuring the “Flathead Lake Monster.” The Flathead lake is actually the largest freshwater lake in the U.S. Apparently in 1889 a local fisherman claimed to see a prehistoric monster, thus cementing it as a legend. Good job Montana.
                                            
The soda itself is mostly sweet, with a slight tartness before swallow. Overall, I would compare the taste as similar to Maine Root’s Blueberry soda, yet with a less full flavor. The taste is also less natural than that of Maine Root, almost like there’s a tinge of grape soda. It’s overall quite tasty and somewhat of a unique flavor, though it is not a soda I would find myself returning to regularly. 

Rating: B-

(Matt)

Pepsi Kick

What is Pepsi Kick? It’s a diet drink styled similarly to Pepsi Max, which is available in the U.S. The smell is a bit unfamiliar, but as it has practically the same ingredients as Pepsi Max, it tastes very similar. This is a good thing as despite their dumb and misogynistic “diet soda for men” marketing campaign, I have always found to be one of the most tasty diet sodas. Some may of course consider this an oxymoron. However, compared to Pepsi Max, the ginseng element of this soda seems stronger, as the after taste is a bit more rooty. Still, it’s not prominent enough really to have a preference of one soda over the other. Overall, as far as diet drinks go, I’d take this over Diet Coke. Plus as the caffeine overload makes this a potential quick substitute for coffee, I’m on board with this soda.
                                       
Rating: B (Matt)

Review: Cristal Negra

This is a Mexican beverage so small and regional that I only found it referenced on a single site. However, this site is of little help for figuring out where this “Cristal” brand comes from, how long they have existed for, and what this flavor is supposed to be. The bottle’s text of “Cristal sabor Negra” directly translates to “Crystal black flavor,” which is also little help. I also highly doubt that this Cristal is somehow related to the more famous gold label champagne of the same name. “Poppin Cristals, Freakin the three-quarter reptiles?” I highly doubt that the LOX was referring to this drink.       

What’s even weirder though is that I actually quite like this flavor, despite having no idea what I am drinking. First, it has one of the most unique soda smells I’ve ever experienced. It’s a very sweet smell, almost like a chemically engineered flower in that it actually tickles your nose. The taste pattern occurs like a wave, alternating between sweet and smooth, with it ending on slightly tangy high point right before swallow. For the flavor itself, I’ve never been this questioning of what comprises a soda’s taste before. I feel like the best I can do is compare it to somewhat like a sweet tea, if you decided to make a sweet tea popsicle. With this, it doesn’t actually taste like sweet tea per se, but an artificially flavored version that is actually successful on its own. If any readers have also tried this soda or have more information, definitely let me know! This is a delightful oddity.
                   
Rating: B+ (Matt)

Review: ToniCol
       
Continuing on with Mexican soda, ToniCol is a vanilla cream soda that has been around since 1880. The guy who invented its formula was named Antonio…so thus Toni + Cola. Though it’s actually not a cola. So I guess that’s why they deleted the “a.” I feel like if he knew this soda would stick around for over 130 years, he might have wanted to think of a better name. But hey, with that manufacturing run, who am I to judge?

Issues with the name would simply be an aside, as in the world of soda, taste is obviously key. However I am far from a fan of this soda’s taste. Beginning with the smell, you know that amazing sweet and tingly scent of a good cream soda? This doesn’t have that at all. It’s rather deep and rather medicinal. The majority of the flavor apparently comes from “concentrated natural vanilla extract.” I love vanilla as a flavor and considering the high reputation of Mexican Vanilla extract, I hoped that this would make an amazing soda. Rather I find it completely undrinkable. The soda’s slogan is “ToniCol …..es diferente,” which if you couldn’t guess translates to “ToniCol …..is different.” Having learned from Moxie, I feel like it’s best that I personally stand clear of soda that directly advertises itself as being different.

It’s hard to even describe the taste, though the word cloying comes to mind. It’s incredibly syrupy, so much so where you question if they somehow mixed up the ratio for your particular batch. I have since looked up other opinions, and it seems like this is actually normal. It takes nothing like a cream soda, nor cola. I remember as a kid once trying a drop of vanilla extract after being seduced by its divine smell. Obviously that was a bad idea. The memory of that taste is too distant to provide a flavor comparison, but this soda elicits a similar instantaneous negative reaction. I find nothing redeeming about this drink.

Rating: F (Matt)

Review: Mirinda Orange

This is an orange soda originally from Spain, but very common in Mexico. It’s actually been owned by Pepsi since 1970. The word “Mirinda” means “wonderful” in Esperanto. I guess there used to be way more flavors in the past- grapefruit, apple, strawberry, raspberry, pineapple, pomegranate, banana, passionfruit, lemon, hibiscus, Guarana, tangerine, tamarind, and grape. They now mainly focus on orange though, which is too bad. There’s not enough weirder fruit sodas. Like banana is the most popular fruit in the world…why is it not a popular soda??

Anways, moving past Wikipedia information, this tastes a little different than your typical Fanta/Sunkist/Slice type orange soda. It tastes a bit more like mandarin orange, but more like if Tang had a soda. I’ve actually mixed Tang with Sprite before. It’s not too far off from this. Which is actually pretty good.

Grade: B (Matt)

I feel like I’m one of the few people in the world where the “Cool Club” soda tasting pavilion at Epcot is one of their favorite things in the entirely of Disney World. I mean infinite soda samples at a place that charges $3.00 for a 20oz bottle of Coke? Completely on board! It also reminds me of what a soda social must be like when you’re not busy running it. At my most recent visit, the Japan and Mexico offerings were unfortunately out of order, but I still got to try six varieties. Here’s my thoughts-

Mozambique: Krest Ginger Ale

I find it difficult to review ginger ale, as it is never a soda that I go out of my way to drink on its own. I prefer it as a mixer, or in combination with various fruit juices. I also know next to nothing about Mozambique, apart from it being a country in Africa. However, I was informed that ginger is frequently used as a medicinal herb there, so it is natural that it would be also incorporated into drinks. With this, the ginger element of this soda is a bit more prominent than the average ginger ale, with it being very natural in taste. It is also less sweet than Schweppes or a similarly popular ginger ale, though I did not find this to be a bad thing. It overall reminded me of something I be drinking if I were sick. There was a weird comfort in that. Rating: (B-)

Costa Rica: Fanta Kolita

Wow! This one is easily my favorite. It’s interesting too as the flavor is listed simply as “Kolita” versus that of any specific fruits. My closest approximation is a successful blend of cherry, strawberry and watermelon to its sweetest extreme. It very much forms its own flavor though, rather than tasting more like a fruit punch type blend. Some people might compare this to a Champagne Cola, though I only see the similarity in degree of sweetness. I found this delicious, but as it is very syrup heavy, it’s probably best in small quantities. Rating: (A)

Italy: Beverly  

Disney is totally trolling with this one. If you go on YouTube, you’ll find countless reaction videos of people trying Beverly for the first time. Wikipedia tells me that “one employee at World of Coca-Cola in Atlanta claimed that on average 2,000 people go through the tasting area, and on average 5 people enjoy the taste of Beverly.” With this, it is easily the most bitter soda I have ever tasted, though it is fascinating how sudden the bitter onset is. One thing I noticed after watching way too many reaction videos was that the instant the soda hits your tongue, it is not until moments later that people experience the bitterness. I actually found the first moments with the soda actually somewhat sweet, yet then the sudden transition occurred. I did not find the bitterness to be unbearably awful however, just mostly unpleasant. I’d totally take this soda over Moxie, which is saying something. Rating: (D)

Germany: Mezzo Mix

So the slogan of this soda translates in English to “Cola Kisses Orange,” which is just a god awful slogan in any language. I never really understand the appeal of orange mixed with chocolate, so I certainly don’t get why someone would want to add orange to their cola. Weirdly though, I feel like the orange flavor was not nearly enough, as if I were not told to expect a subtle orange taste, I would have never noticed. Rather this is more like a mediocre cola, missing the sharpness that is necessary in a great cola. Not enough orange, not enough cola. Grade: (C-)

Israel: Kinley Lemon

This one reminds me of 7up, but with an extreme emphasis on the lemon. However not extreme enough that it tastes like lemon soda. I don’t feel like much can be said for this flavor, but it is nice and crisp. Solid. Grade: (B)

China: Smart Watermelon

This soda was similar to Fanta Kolita, but distinctly watermelon rather than the more vague “fruit” flavor. It’s also slightly less sweet, but still certainly sweeter than your average soda. I overheard some tasters refer to this as similar to Jolly Rancher watermelon candy, though I would rather suggest that it tastes more like watermelon Blow Pops. It’s refreshing and consistent in flavor, without any of the tartness that I link to Jolly Ranchers. I wish Watermelon soda was more common in the U.S. I would drink this all the time. Grade: (A-)

-Matt

REVIEW: Coca-Cola 

Writing about Coca-Cola is like writing about the world as a whole. One could break down how they experience what we call Earth by compartmentalizing, categorizing, and quantifying, but it be to no avail. There isn’t a way to encapsulate all of worldly existence into a piece of writing. However, this doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t at least try to understand the world through writing, art or scholarly endeavors. It is a similar futility that one faces writing about Coca-Cola Classic. Although reviewing Coke might be a herculean task fit for no mortal man, it does not mean that we should not strive to understand this beverage that stands firmly and confidently as the undisputed king of soda world. 

It is not enough to taste Coke to understand it. There is so many contexts surrounding the beverage so unless you live in a complete cultural bubble, it is impossible to drink it without also drinking in what coke means to other people as well. It is a giant global brand and people all over the planet have different conceptions and interactions with the drink. This is evident even in just the number of Coca Cola shirts you see written in different languages. A company does not get so big without scrutiny or controversy. It is widely noted that Coke represents a certain height of cutthroat American capitalism with all of its ills. The company boasts a terrible environmental record, often-horrifying labor practices, and even a record of bribing public officials to minimize its negative health consequences. However, if we are to think as Coke as a mini-world in and of itself, we can begin to accept it with all of its flaws and evils. Like the world, like every person, coke is both horrible and beautiful.

Ignoring all other factors Coke is one of the best—if not the best – flavor of soda available. The recipe has been subject to high profile corporate espionage and has remained a tightly guarded secret throughout the company’s history. It no longer contains cocaine (the only thing that could make it better) but it is known that the Kola bean is not actually a contributor to the flavor but rather vanilla, cinnamon and spices that contribute to the unique flavor. Many of the reported leaked recipes contain similar ingredients—but the proportions of each ingredient are subject to much debate. Whatever the secret may be, the drink is nearly flawless. Crisp, refreshing, acidic, the right amount of sweet, a pleasant burning sensation, it is carbonated delight. 

The gritty details you’ll are scrutinized: Mexican coke made with cane sugar is superior. A glass bottle adds to the drinking experience. But whatever way you drink—Coke is still the best. Everyone will have a different preference for their enjoyment, be it can, bottle, glass, or fountain. Each is a different experience and we all bring our selves to these experiences to synthesize them into the amorphous concept that we understand as Coke.

Drinking coke isn’t just drinking a soda. It’s not just the iconic branding, the nostalgia for historical America, the bubbles, the flavor, the stimulant rush—it’s about memories. Coke has played a reoccurring role in most people’s lives. Many remember it on hot summer days, near playgrounds, at parties, at a ball game, in the desert, on a beach… the possibilities are endless. Coke is part of life. It is life. It is part of the world. It is a world. And in the world of soda, it is the pinnacle, the apex, the standard by which all soda is judged.

Grade: A+ (Jacob)